Just having a rant.

---edit - - - - - trigger warning for unsafe behaviourI hate being forced to "prove" how shit you are every week so as to be not turned away from health care professionals (HCP'S), or then neglect to treat you anyway.Tonight was another fuck it night after being abused this week, if they won't help me, I'll just do it myself.I've just taken 240mg morphine, 2 phenergan, 2 cyclizine, fexofenadine (don't need to be itchy) 2 * 7.5mg zopiclone, 60mg Diazepam, 4* 200mcg bupe sublinguals, 5*30mg codeine, and just stuck on a fent 75mcg/hr patch. The only thing that worries me is that the pain relief I feel will be while I'm asleep.When did it become a crime to be in agony ask for help , and be considered drug seeking because you just don't want to be at crying or passing out level of pain daily.Fuck everyone this year who has used covid for the most inane reasons not to look at my treatment, you suck and I hate you.I can't do this anymore, I hope I just don't wake. Unfortunately I will, based on previous experience.Should I finally be relieved, I pray my docs see this. They did this too me, you bastards.On a happier note, thanks guys for reading and understanding. You keep me grounded.I'm starting to not be able to concentrate or breathe well, so off to sleep for me.I hope you all moment's of peace, and relief from pain, and pray your tunnel has a light at the end.God bless, good night, and one day soon I hope goodbye xxxPs. Please call samaritans or suicide prevention if you find yourself reading my post and getting ideas.Another 250ml of oxy, feeling no pain now. Peace at last. I'm happy and no regrets.Tomorrow I start the fight again. via /r/ChronicPain https://ift.tt/3cJoKra