I’m a wreck. I just ended things for good with my partner of 4 years (on/off). Childhood trauma left him with a bunch of serious, untreated mental health issues including alcohol abuse. In the end what started as the best thing that ever happened to me evolved into something overwhelmingly toxic. The intermittent emotional abuse, a continuous cycle of intense affection followed by severe rejection, left me feeling like a dog at his beck and call, always wondering what the fuck I did wrong. I love him but he was dragging my mental health down with him.I guess I got the closure most people dream of. I read out my whole speech of concerns and he broke down, crying like a baby and apologised for everything. He told me that he loved me, but I was way too good for him and he didn’t want to keep on hurting me. I never thought I would have the strength to let go, but hearing him tell me straight that it was his responsibility to deal with his problems and I deserved way more than he could give, encouraging me and telling me everything he admired about me made me realise my acceptance of such low standards was reflective of the kind of love I thought I deserved, and I needed to give myself the same love that my loved ones felt for me.My friends and family have all told me this a thousand times before, and as dumb as it is, I really needed to hear it from him (I know many people don’t ever get this chance). Leaving was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. He’s all I’ve ever known and I still love him so much and I am absolutely terrified of a life without him but I know it’s for the best, even though it currently feels like I’m caught in a blender. As much as I hope and pray he figures out how to heal from his shit, I know that it’s his journey and I can’t keep on enabling his behaviour by accepting this treatment. I’m pretty fucked up about it all and I have no idea how I’m going to recover, but I know I have to try. 😞 via /r/abusiverelationships https://ift.tt/3ibGmgJ
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