I’m 17, and my teen years so far have been ruined by trauma/depression/anxiety. It basically started with a shitty teacher that treated me like crap whenever I didn’t know the answer to a question (not to mention, she purposfully picked me to answer things she knew I wouldn’t know). That fire was then fueled by my terrible relationship with my dad getting increasingly worse around the same time, as well as his girlfriend at the time treating me horribly as well.Basically a bunch of incidents caused me to start having trust issues (especially iwith adults) and it went downhill from there. I kept quiet about it first, mainly because I was quite young and was always taught that adults are always right and I should just listen to them, so I didn’t even really know what was wrong, I just felt it affecting my mental health.Anyway, I eventually got it out and moved to a different school and started seeing my dad less, but it had already gone too far and for too long. Depression started kicking in and I had trouble trusting other teachers, doctors, dentists, basically any adult besides my mom.Eventually I completely broke down and couldn’t even go to school anymore. I started seeing a therapist, but I had trouble getting the words out and explaining my emotions. This whole time I’d kept most of my feelings to myself and never gotten used to putting words on them, so at this point I didn’t even know what I was feeling.I had a long break from everything that was putting presssure on me (since it had already broken me at this point) and it helped me a great deal. I found things I enjoy in life and genuinely started caring about my life. I now play music everyday, and enjoy going out in nature and seeing my horses. It seems things are going great, right? And they are.But I’m still a teen. Still trying to find myself. This whole break I had from my life, also meant I couldn’t see my friends. Now I need to build friendships up again and figure out where I’m gonna with my life. I’m almost 18 and it’s stressing me tf out.I have so many different interests and I don’t know what to leave on the table and what to just go for. I also have no friends and haven’t talked to anyone my age for years.I feel like I’m falling apart again, even occasionally considering ending it all, though I still have a deep appreciation and love for life, and I want to see where it takes me. I’m just scared and uncertain about everything.Anyway this is getting long and I’m not sure where I’m going with it anymore. I’m just very confused and freaked out about life, and starting to wonder if it’ll ever get better. I know this is pretty normal for my age, but I’m still kinda freaking out, and could really use some reassurance since I’m not getting that anywhere else (except from my mother of course). I keep telling myself that it’s gonna be okay and that I should just pursue my dreams and see where life takes me, but I’m having a hard time actually believing it.(I left out quite a lot considering this is basically my life story, but this post is long enough already, so in case anyone actually sees this and cares you and ask about anything you want.Grammar probably sucks, but I hope you get what I’m saying lol) via /r/TooAfraidToAsk https://ift.tt/2Fd24n6
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