I could really use some help right now. [long]

Hi there! I have a situation I could really use some advice on how to handle, because I've got absolutely no idea where to go from here. It's nothing super important or anything, but it's been eating at me for a while now so I thought I'd post here.To start off, I'm male, 6’9", and a basketball player. Up until a couple weeks ago, my friends in high school were the "cool kids", but they weren't terribly bad as you might think. They were often very mean and needlessly harsh to people, almost like bullying, but I removed myself from that and didn't allow myself to become a part of it.Then COVID hits and our school switches to online. Months go by and I barely communicate with them at all, not wanting to go out for my own health. Then Among Us becomes popular and I hit up my friends and ask to make a groupchat to play, which they agree to. However, days later they begin to say horribly mean and offensive things about me, both when they think I'm not looking and in private messages to me, even removing me from the groupchat that I created. What reason? I have no idea. But it was enough, combined with my growing intolerance of their offensive, sexist nature, to make me leave the friend group and find new friends.Luckily, there's another friend group that I occasionally talked to that brought me in when they heard my situation. This group is about half girls and half boys instead of all boys, including the girl that I like. I was glad to get to spend some time with her too, so it seemed like a win-win.Everyone seemed to be excited with me joining them, adding me to their groupchat. I talked to them and felt like a real part of the group for about a week and a half. It was great and I had so much hope that it would be better than my old situation. We even met up to go hang out one time (masks on, of course).But it was the day after that that things started to decline. Some of the things I would say to them in the groupchat to try and make conversation were ignored by everyone, which is understandable since I'm a naturally bad texter. I'm much better at communicating in real life, but during COVID we obviously didn't have that. I would often get left on read for no reason, killing the chat for a solid hour until someone changed the subject. At one point I even made an attempt to compliment my crush, but I didn't realize that the compliment I had made could also be taken as an insult if read the wrong way, and she became upset. (I won't go into it.)I realized people were starting to think I was awkward, and it led to me overthinking every single message I sent before eventually horribly regretting it or deleting it. Even in voice calls, I'd say things that were followed by complete silence. I had no idea why the shift of mood had seemed to become increasingly cold towards me.I began to really struggle with my perception of myself, thinking more and more that me leaving the first friend group was my fault and that I drive people away. Because of this, I just decided to leave the groupchat so as not to embarrass myself any further, feeling like a burden to them. I was also fully convinced that my crush now hates me and it'll never happen.Of the 30 or so people in the chat, no one reached out to me about me leaving except one person, and they said if I want to come back then I should just give it time to get better. I don't feel like things are going to get any better; in fact, things seemed to have gotten worse with time. I've been feeling horribly sad and lonely in the last few days, and anxious that things will never work out.I just want advice on what I should do from here. Should I join back? Should I not? How should I play things with people? What should I say? What should I do?Or if anyone just wants to be friends with an awkward tall guy, my messages are open. If anyone could do with a friend, by all means please reach out to me because I know I could. I know things could absolutely be a lot worse for me right now and maybe I'm overthinking all this, but I could really use some help right now.Thanks for reading if you did, and sorry for the essay. via /r/feemagers https://ift.tt/34b4FHL