Hey everyone, 30/Filipina/Indian here. My mom and I get along better now since I moved out and got married 3 years ago, and while she cared for me and provided for me so much when I was growing up, she also criticized and belittled me a lot to where it would chip away at my self-worth. I know I was immature at sometimes and I deserved it but it would really hurt the way she would talk down on me. But she also praised me a lot and told me how much God loves me (we’re all Christian). So I would be so confused because I felt/feel like I shouldn’t resent her for trying to teach me, even if it was lecturing me for 3 hours, from midnight to almost 3 am (yes this has happened a few times). She took care of me very well (and also does a great job of taking care of my other sisters, one who has lupus and other health conditions and the other who has autism). But she also made me feel bad a few times for wanting to marry my husband and leaving her behind (this was after my dad passed away and before she met my stepdad). That’s just one of the many things she has done.I feel like my mom has gotten more fundie-ish in her beliefs while I have been getting more progressive (but still Christian). A little bit of her background: she grew up Catholic/Hindu before becoming born again/evangelical along with her brothers who then became pastors. One of my Titos is nice, but also very fundie and has an “us vs them” mindset, believing in the end times and stuff like that. They buy into Plandemic and view Bill Gates as evil. Since COVID, they have been doing Bible studies bi-monthly. I joined in on 2 of them and decided to not do them anymore. My mom was like, “there’s a huge difference between doing your own devotions and studying under a teacher (in this case, my Tito) who can keep you accountable”.My dad passed away almost 8 years ago and my mom remarried a white man since then (my stepdad). My dad was pretty conservative and watched Fox News but he was also pretty respectful of other people’s views, especially my husband who is a staunch liberal. My stepdad on the other hand is a Trumper and takes digs at our political beliefs, and COVID.I’ve been getting more political, and I guess my mom is too but on the other end. Or she’s getting more conservative in her political/religious beliefs. I watched the debate the other night and was horrified at the way Trump conducted himself.Anyway, my mom posted a link on Facebook that Trump was calling for people to pray for America, and she was praising it and talking about how she was so blessed to have moved here and how everyone has been so gracious. and that even though she’s had some negative experiences but she had that everywhere. But overall she was praising Trump. Most people agreed with her by replying back with “Amen!”, but someone said, “how can you pray for him?! He’s so rude!” And my mom responded back saying, “this is not a political post, if you cannot pray for those who you think have sin in their hearts you can’t pray for anyone, I could tell you all the lies from the left and the unborn babies” etc.it has been bothering me because how can we say we are Christian but disregard those who are ripped away from their families at the border, refugees, the lgbt community (whether you “agree” or “disagree” with their beliefs they still deserve to be treated with dignity). How can you give grace to a guy that assaults women, won’t denounce white supremacy, and had over 200K+ people killed from the pandemic. I know as a Christian you have to extend grace to all but it’s really hard for me to do so with this guy.My mom has always been the type to be extremely blunt. I appreciate honesty and constructive criticism but the way she would sometimes criticize me hurt me to the core where I would call my husband crying (when we were dating). I can see why she likes Trump because he tells it like it is too, and that’s why his supporters worship him. My stepdad is the same way too, he is the type that will dominate every conversation even when it naturally goes on a different topic because he feels like he needs to be right all the time.I love my mom and she loves me too. But the way she talked to me when I was a kid/teen/20s still hurts. And I can see that parallel with her and Trump. It’s just making me uncomfortable to go to her and my stepdads house right now. But I’ve been having to go there sometimes because she has an online store and she wants me to model her clothes. And she and my Tito keep talking about the rapture and to get ready. It also makes me feel like I’m gonna go to Hell because my Christian beliefs have been more progressive/liberal over the years.Like I said, we get along better now that I’ve moved out since I got married at 27. You know how it is living at home with your parents as an Asian (but I also helped her with taking care of my sister with autism after my dad passed away, and I had my own health issues with lupus while going to university full-time). I only regret not moving out earlier.Don’t you feel like this? On one hand you feel bad about resenting a parent like this for hurting you, but you can’t ignore the fact that they did? via /r/AsianParentStories https://ift.tt/3ncUFVI
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