it’s getting really difficult having loved ones

so in the last two years i’ve had very intense short lived close friendships. something always happened which resulted in it ending but summer 2019 i became close w this girl that eventually became my best friend. our friendship was really wonderful towards the beginning & so i never realized how dependent my mental health was on our friendship. around 4 months into our friendship i became very close friends w her ex unintentionally & when our friendship started getting rocky, my mental health rlly tanked. we stayed friends for several months after our friendship started having problems & it took a huge toll on my mental health. until i became closer w this other girl & when i did acid w her for the first time, she began to carry a far greater significance to me. it became a lot easier to let go of the earlier friendship as she was replaced by my new best friend. she became my fp & for a good 8 months, i had the healthiest relationship i’ve ever had in my life. then suddenly she just ghosted. like she started ignoring my texts & calls for days & didn’t rlly tell me what i did wrong. this wednesday she finally texted me & told me she just didn’t think we were as close anymore, but she still loved me & cherished our memories. it was utter bs & the worst thing was, i have no idea what the real reason is. my best friend, literally the only person that i’ve hardly never (relatively never compared to other people in my life) been terrified of walking away or hating me, just like walked out of my life without a reason.needless to say, i haven’t been doing well. i’ve developed very bad trust issues over the last few months due to this other relationship of mine & so i’ve just grown generally untrusting of all people who still remain close to me, but now it’s like an altered max. i don’t trust anyone at all anymore when they say they want me around, and i’m just waiting for everything to end— even when things are going incredibly well. this is probably bc i’ve never lost a fp this harshly before but still, i have no idea how to cope.can anyone provide me advice on how to cope with losing a favorite person for no known reason, or just tell me how to stop caring (as much as someone w bpd can, anyway)? via /r/BPD https://ift.tt/36twwVb