depression

I’ve been really down for a long time now. I feel like i’ve been severely depressed for years now. and it just seems to be getting worse. i’m really driven to be alone and do things by myself but this loneliness is getting to me. it doesn’t help that every time i look at my phone it’s a reminder that i’m not out having fun doing things. i’ve been so depressed the past couple weeks i distances myself from everyone in my life. but i need help. i need someone to just acknowledge that i’ll be okay. i tried suppressing my emotions by drinking or smoking but i just can’t handle the emotions i’m dealing with anymore. it’s to the point where i contemplate killing my self just so i don’t have to feel anymore. i don’t know what to turn to anymore my trauma and mental health just keeps declining as i grow older. I’m anxious all the time and i just want to feel okay for once. i feel like i’m losing a grip on reality and everything is foggy in my head. i cant be around people because i’m constantly breaking myself down about things they possibly could be thinking about me. even my own family. i don’t know if i’m a lost cause. i know there are so many people struggling right now and it makes me more sad. i hate the reality i’m living in. everyone is so consumed into their phone and themselves. Everyday is an uphill battle and some days i just can’t win, hence why i’m here ranting into the void of the internet. I don’t know what i’m seeking through this i just want to feel a little better right now. because i’m so anxious and depressed i can’t even leave my bed. via /r/depression https://ift.tt/3k5AaZf