Thoughts after moving out 2.5 months ago

My mental state initially when I moved out was severe. It was impossible to calm down and felt very unsafe 100% of the time. I did not feel safe in my own mind and body. I felt violated.I still feel this way but I’m starting to get a few hours every few days of much improved mental state. I’m starting to feel safe again and slowly regaining my old personality. These windows of lower neuroticism happen for a few hours every few days. My mental state is improving but at a rate slower than desired.There is still A LOT of progress to go through. I still feel extremely anxious and unsafe most of the time. I have very violent thoughts against the abusive people in order to cope with the trauma. These violent thoughts are reducing day by day but still are present.This is not easy to go through and most of the time I’m searching just for some resolve for a few hours. I do not have a direct support system except for my mom who can only do so much. My family does not believe that this abuse occurred to me and will not help me which inflicts a greater dose of anxiety.Abusive people have resorted to character assassination in order to continue abuse me without me being present. This disinformation has been highly potent against me and has effectively isolated myself from other family members. All family members except for my mother do not believe abuse occurred with me and has a negative view of me now. I do not have mental strength to retaliate. I do not have support or security in family members.Projections for my mental healthMoving out, i knew this type of abuse would take a long time to resolve and was not sure if full recovery could happen without family support.2.5 months out and my mental health has improved with small windows of feeling safe and being in “remission.” This is obviously a very good sign though this is taking longer than I would likeI assume the next few months will be this same of highly anxious and agitated state where I’m searching for keep myself mentally stable and calm. I assume I will have longer periods of feeling safe and feeling in remission. It may take months and months until I’m permanently feeling safe 100% of the time. This permanent feeling of remission may occur anywhere between a few weeks and 3-5 months.At this time I can’t say whether I can fully recover from this abuse. This would require either eliminating abusive people from family or for significant improvements in feelings of safety with or without validation from family members. All I can say that mental stability is likely to occur within the next few months.Moving out on my own has been a joyous experience and soon moving out to my own apartment will be even better. I miss my feeling of safety and freedom and I miss my old personality but I am working to improve those factors. I hope to continue to see improvements in mental health. via /r/CPTSD https://ift.tt/34Wkkd6