So let me start off by saying I [f 24] am head over heels on love with my current SO [m 31] . I have never connected with a human at such a deep level as I do with my bf. He is the kindest, most hilarious person ever and what I am about to say and admit to myself actually hurtsOk - so my bf and I have been dating for a few years now. We have moved on together, everything is great, but for some reason I have noticed some really negative changes in him that have me incredibly concerned.For one, he's started drinking heavily. I don't know why, he says it's quarantine and what's going around the world with covid (totally get this) but it's seriously affected his health.He's gained like 100 Lbs over the last year (not an exaggeration). When we started dating, he was super into the gym and just generally very disciplined. But now he's very fat and, drinking a lot and, what I am assuming as, depressed.I'm worried. For one, and I'm being selfish here, I have completely lost any sexual attraction to him what so ever. He is super nice, and I love him as a human at a much deeper level. But I just can't being myself to have sex anymore with him. It's really awful that I feel this way. I hate that I do and I feel really bad for feeling this way.At the same time though, I'm worried. I keep trying to talk to him to see if everything is ok after he wakes up from a drunk night, but generally he says that all is good and he just had a few too many by accident. I don't know. The accidents are happening a lot lately, though it's only weekly most weeks. Maybe a few times every week at most? so not like getting in the way of work or every night but the amount of drunk he gets is worrisome.I'm also worried a lot for his mental well being that he is just not comfortable talking about right now.I don't know. On one hand, these times are hella hard. I also feel like it's not right to remain in a relationship with someone when you're not physically attracted anymore, but I still continue to stay because I really love him so so dearly. He is my best friend. He makes me laugh so hard and we genuinely have the best of times together, when he isn't drunk.I don't know what to do. How can I be both so happy and so not at the same time. Do I tell him this? How do I not shatter him? Am I selfish? Do I just put up with the weight gain? How do I get him to seek help and find a more healthy relationship with a few drinks here and there? How do I get him to just seek help altogether? Or at least take better care of himself?I don't know. I'm confused. But something needs to change.What are your thoughts? Any advice?TL;DR something is up with my bf He drinks too much and gained a lot of weight over the last year. I love him as a person and am concerned for his health but also can't escape the fact that I am no longer physically attracted to him. I feel bad for feeling this way. What do I do? How can I help him? via /r/relationships https://ift.tt/2H6WLWL
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