Narc mom? Pls helpIs she a narcissist? Or am I just an ahole?Background: 17 Working Nmom?Hello everyone. So I’ve got an issue. I’m trying to figure out what the heck’s going on. For years I’ve thought my mom was just super protective. But I’ve been reading a lot and studying cause something doesn’t seem right.Because screaming and gaslighting at your child because of your problems is probably not actually parenting. Since I was very little I was cussed at, not called a bitch or anything just told how f*ucking stupid the thing I just did was or how shitty my actions were. When I was very little I was told I’d be “the death of her” which scared me, I took it literal and wouldn’t ask for help for a week and couldn’t look her in the eyes thinking I was killing my own mother. When she found out she was upset because she didn’t mean to say it. Yet the whole week was super rough with me. Any time I did something wrong nothing was talked out, just yelling and getting spanked a lot. Of course my GC sister never got spanked and is rarely yelled at. They buy her everything and if I ask for stuff it adds to their financial burden. I’ve been called “mentally psychotic and crazy” (for standing up for myself by the way). I had went through a very depressive state recently and was told depression wasn’t real and I just want attention and she made it about her and I will try to use it against her. I asked for a therapist and she said no because all I’d do was complain about her. If I double text her accidentally she tattles to my dad saying I’m blowing up her phone and calls my dad to handle it. She tells me I have a “victim mentality”. To even get her to listen when I was having a panic attack during one of my worst mental nights I had to break down in front of her then she made it about her and told me mental health problems aren’t real. If I am screamed at and even have a tear she screams and says I have no right to cry and makes me stop or will try to intimidate me. She tries to control my work life. She didn’t like my schedule was 2 days over what I could work and I called my boss and she said she could compromise and take a day off (totally fine with me) and my mom went off and said to tell her I can’t. My boss was mad because we compromised and I told her it was my mother and I’m sorry. Then my mom CALLED her and was all rude. Another night she wanted me to leave and I told her I still had like 15 minutes because I was finishing an order (restaurant) and she’d have to wait. Told me she’d go in there if I didn’t leave so I had to piss off my managers to even satisfy my mother. Got yelled at by one of the managers. Yay :). My childhood dogs were given away without but a nights notice because she didn’t want them anymore. (We can afford them and take care of them fine. It’s not an issue). She knew I was upset that night and I told her it was cause she always swore he could die with me. Told me I was dramatic and wouldn’t let me go to bed without saying I agreed to let them go. (I said no). She has the whole cycle going on. (Honeymoon periods, mental abuse). She’ll tell me memories I remember clearly never happened. (Makes her look bad) gaslights me all the time) I’ve even started videoing conversations and I am horrified listening to them again. I am told my kids will be terrible in the future because I am not nice to her. (All I do is try to please her but it’s never enough). Gaining my independence threatens her so much. And I can’t tell her a thing without it being used against me. I’m so sick of it.When I was little she’d say to not tell people when I was in trouble. And don’t make them look bad. That I should always keep that between us. I wasn’t allowed to let family know if I got something taken away. Like when I had a Barbie taken away for no reason. She made me tell my aunt on the phone I was playing with it and loved it. I never was using it.And let’s not forget where she says she cries worrying about me at night and how she’ll afford my horse stuff (I pay it all, she doesn’t do a freaking thing except maybe use her card so I can give her all the cash (restaurants give us cash here not many checks) and all she does is drink and watch tv at night.)she’s also saying I should aim to lose 20 pounds in two weeks. (Apparently that’s super unhealthy so no thanks mom😂) (I’m also maybe like 5 pounds overweight via /r/NarcissisticAbuse https://ift.tt/3m3tkUI
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