Tuesday, October 20, 2020

Rebel Wilson arrives at a skincare clinic in LA amid her 'year of health'


https://ift.tt/2TdqaRS via /r/trendandstyle https://ift.tt/3dHUXzT

A4A] [long term] [NSFW themes] [discord] a Sci-fi romance of the forbidden kind


Greetings everyone! I hope the quarantine has been easy on you, that you’ve been in good health and that you’re having an awesome day/night/ whatever time it may be for you. After taking a break from the world of role playing and having some partners part ways with me due to life circumstances I’m on the hunt for some new partners that I hope I can write an awesome story or two with. Now I know what you’re thinking, what exactly am I looking for? You may ask, well I’m looking to delve into a fantastic story that involves aliens, lasers, super cool technology, space ships, romance, adventure and all else that comes with the genre. I do have a few rules which I’ve compiled into a list down below.1: third person paragraph style only. No one liners, one worders, frequent poor spelling or poorly written responses with nothing for me to write back too (I won’t correct you if it’s only once or twice but if I often can’t read what you’ve written and you make no attempt to fix it then we won’t be compatible). The very least I want from you is one well thought out and fleshed paragraph, if you’re willing to write more if it suits the moment then that’s also encouraged.2: 18+ writers and characters only please as my rp’s contain non fade to black NSFW themes and other adult content. I’m in my early twenties and have no desire to get into trouble for rping such things with a minor nor do I feel comfortable rping with minors or underaged characters when mine are all adults.3: I will only be doing sci-fi rp’s. Please do not approach me asking if you can rp as a fantasy character (approaching me asking if you can rp as a demon will result in not getting a reply at all) or ask for an rp that is not sci-fi. It’s simply not what I’m looking for. Fandoms are also out of the question. Please do not also come to me saying you’ve never done anything sci-fi before, it means I’ve basically got to explain every little detail of the story to you and it’s no fun for either party.4: I will be rping as one of my alien oc’s, they’re not your average spray painted human so if an alien that does not look like a bald blue human (or not look much like a human at all) is not your cup of tea then you needn’t message me. My characters are also hybrids so if you’re the kind of person who needs realism for every aspect of the rp please do not approach me either. Science fiction has the word fiction in it for a reason. My characters are also male, I do not rp female characters (it is simply not what I’m comfortable doing), and I will do MxM pairings or FxM. Preference wise, MxM is my favourite pairing but if you’ve got your heart set on rping a female character then I do not mind FxM. I don’t do face claims or pics just descriptions.5: I’d greatly like it if you could rp as an alien but if a human is what you’re comfortable playing with then that’s okay. Please no slime characters, tentacle things, insect like aliens (spiders especially are a big no), bird aliens, robots or androids or any other non living thing. Cyborgs are okay. Please no characters whose entire personality is based on the fact they’re a sub or dom, it’s very annoying when you cannot perform an action without one of those kinds of characters needing to have everything done for them first. I also insist that characters who are too kind for their own good/are always peaceful/only ever experience one emotion and it’s never negative are a big no go.6: NO.CONTROLLING.MY.CHARACTER. I will not stand for it and it leaves me with nothing to write. My characters are not yours, you do not get to decide what happens to them nor dictate their actions. Control my characters and you’ll find yourself blocked and unfriended. I don’t really allow second chances for these things.7: romance. It’s happening. Smut. That’s also happening (again, I don’t fade to black. I also don’t care when the smut comes in). Neither of these two things will be the centrepiece of the story and will be slow burn only. For every aspect in a relationship I only do switch dynamics, no sub/dom stuff. I also don’t do fast paced love at first sight stuff.8: my time zone is the eastern Australian time but I’m available almost every hour provided I’m not sleeping or doing something else in advance.9: my preferred medium of communication is discord but I will also rp on hangouts, email or telegram. I do not rp on kik or reddit.10: if you’re a person who tends to drop an rp without warning whether before it starts or after its started, please do not message me. If you’re suddenly no longer interested in my rp, regardless of what stage it is at (discussion,starting,etc) PLEASE DO NOT JUST SUDDENLY STOP MESSAGING. Ghosting before the planning stage of an rp is even done is just as bad as ghosting someone during an rp. I will not be upset by a simple “hey, I don’t think this is for me.”. Leaving me hanging wondering whether or not you’re interested will upset me.11: I beg of you, please do not message me if all you write is two sentences or less of absolute nothingness when I ask you to write a starter. If I ask you to start I expect you do more than try to just meet even less than the minimum I’ll accept. Only message me if effort and quality mixed equal amounts of quantity are something you understand.12: if you are looking for realism in an rp in a genre that’s literally fiction with very little stuff that actually applies to real life things please do not message me. I’m not looking to be in an otherwise normal modern world where the only sci-fi thing is a computer or an AI. It’s just not for me.13: I do not do FxF (again, I do not rp as female characters) so please do not approach me wanting a FxF pairing or approach me and ask that I play a female character.Now onto my idea: I’m looking for a (legal) romance that would make head turns in all directions if it was seen. I want a romance that the characters first deny then keep a secret from the rest of the world because of the backlash it could potentially get if word got out. I want a romance that, whilst at first glance may seem like its perfectly fine to have, makes people go “nah Ah” for many reasons. Think fo your classical royal x non royal story but expand on it. Maybe the ships captain isn’t allowed to deeply associate with his crew mates because he has an image to maintain but has feelings for a subordinate crew mate. Maybe someone tasked with protecting a government official starts to fall for them despite knowing that they can’t be with someone like that strictly for political reasons. Perhaps a betrothed prince/princess falls for their knight or guard.Regardless, I want it to be a romance that is more than just “character A meets character B and they fell helplessly in love.” Give me the drama, give me the relationship problems, give me those moments where the secrets close to being let out but most of all, give me some tension. Make this more than just your ordinary romance.Possible ideas for this setting:1: a noble gets captured by a space pirate.2: a person who was exiled returns home despite being threatened with severe consequences if they ever come back pleads for the help of his former best friend.3: a captain falls for his second in command/lower ranking crew mate.4: a prince/princess falls for their knight/guard/best friend/street rat/commoner despite being betrothed to another royal.5: any idea we come up with together.If anyone is at all interested in an rp with me then please pm me or start a reddit chat and please have it as more than “hey wanna rp?” Tell me something about your favourite movie or your favourite animal or perhaps even character ideas and please add which pairing idea you liked. Please make sure you also include the word DOLAN somewhere in your message so that I know you’ve ready the whole thing. I WILL NOT RP WITH PEOPLE WHO DO NOT HAVE THE WORD DOLAN AND THE IDEA THEY LIKED IN THEIR MESSAGE. It doesn’t matter if you add it after, if it’s not in the first message, it’s a no. Do not worry if I don’t respond straight away. Reddit is famous for not letting people get notifications, chances are I don’t know you’ve reached out to me yet but fret not, I always respond to whoever answers no matter what time you messaged me and how long it’s been since.Can’t wait to rp with anyone interested! via /r/AdvLitRoleplay https://ift.tt/2TclRWZ

[A4A] [long term] [NSFW themes] [discord] a Sci-fi romance of the forbidden kind


Greetings everyone! I hope the quarantine has been easy on you, that you’ve been in good health and that you’re having an awesome day/night/ whatever time it may be for you. After taking a break from the world of role playing and having some partners part ways with me due to life circumstances I’m on the hunt for some new partners that I hope I can write an awesome story or two with. Now I know what you’re thinking, what exactly am I looking for? You may ask, well I’m looking to delve into a fantastic story that involves aliens, lasers, super cool technology, space ships, romance, adventure and all else that comes with the genre. I do have a few rules which I’ve compiled into a list down below.1: third person paragraph style only. No one liners, one worders, frequent poor spelling or poorly written responses with nothing for me to write back too (I won’t correct you if it’s only once or twice but if I often can’t read what you’ve written and you make no attempt to fix it then we won’t be compatible). The very least I want from you is one well thought out and fleshed paragraph, if you’re willing to write more if it suits the moment then that’s also encouraged.2: 18+ writers and characters only please as my rp’s contain non fade to black NSFW themes and other adult content. I’m in my early twenties and have no desire to get into trouble for rping such things with a minor nor do I feel comfortable rping with minors or underaged characters when mine are all adults.3: I will only be doing sci-fi rp’s. Please do not approach me asking if you can rp as a fantasy character (approaching me asking if you can rp as a demon will result in not getting a reply at all) or ask for an rp that is not sci-fi. It’s simply not what I’m looking for. Fandoms are also out of the question. Please do not also come to me saying you’ve never done anything sci-fi before, it means I’ve basically got to explain every little detail of the story to you and it’s no fun for either party.4: I will be rping as one of my alien oc’s, they’re not your average spray painted human so if an alien that does not look like a bald blue human (or not look much like a human at all) is not your cup of tea then you needn’t message me. My characters are also hybrids so if you’re the kind of person who needs realism for every aspect of the rp please do not approach me either. Science fiction has the word fiction in it for a reason. My characters are also male, I do not rp female characters (it is simply not what I’m comfortable doing), and I will do MxM pairings or FxM. Preference wise, MxM is my favourite pairing but if you’ve got your heart set on rping a female character then I do not mind FxM. I don’t do face claims or pics just descriptions.5: I’d greatly like it if you could rp as an alien but if a human is what you’re comfortable playing with then that’s okay. Please no slime characters, tentacle things, insect like aliens (spiders especially are a big no), bird aliens, robots or androids or any other non living thing. Cyborgs are okay. Please no characters whose entire personality is based on the fact they’re a sub or dom, it’s very annoying when you cannot perform an action without one of those kinds of characters needing to have everything done for them first. I also insist that characters who are too kind for their own good/are always peaceful/only ever experience one emotion and it’s never negative are a big no go.6: NO.CONTROLLING.MY.CHARACTER. I will not stand for it and it leaves me with nothing to write. My characters are not yours, you do not get to decide what happens to them nor dictate their actions. Control my characters and you’ll find yourself blocked and unfriended. I don’t really allow second chances for these things.7: romance. It’s happening. Smut. That’s also happening (again, I don’t fade to black. I also don’t care when the smut comes in). Neither of these two things will be the centrepiece of the story and will be slow burn only. For every aspect in a relationship I only do switch dynamics, no sub/dom stuff. I also don’t do fast paced love at first sight stuff.8: my time zone is the eastern Australian time but I’m available almost every hour provided I’m not sleeping or doing something else in advance.9: my preferred medium of communication is discord but I will also rp on hangouts, email or telegram. I do not rp on kik or reddit.10: if you’re a person who tends to drop an rp without warning whether before it starts or after its started, please do not message me. If you’re suddenly no longer interested in my rp, regardless of what stage it is at (discussion,starting,etc) PLEASE DO NOT JUST SUDDENLY STOP MESSAGING. Ghosting before the planning stage of an rp is even done is just as bad as ghosting someone during an rp. I will not be upset by a simple “hey, I don’t think this is for me.”. Leaving me hanging wondering whether or not you’re interested will upset me.11: I beg of you, please do not message me if all you write is two sentences or less of absolute nothingness when I ask you to write a starter. If I ask you to start I expect you do more than try to just meet even less than the minimum I’ll accept. Only message me if effort and quality mixed equal amounts of quantity are something you understand.12: if you are looking for realism in an rp in a genre that’s literally fiction with very little stuff that actually applies to real life things please do not message me. I’m not looking to be in an otherwise normal modern world where the only sci-fi thing is a computer or an AI. It’s just not for me.13: I do not do FxF (again, I do not rp as female characters) so please do not approach me wanting a FxF pairing or approach me and ask that I play a female character.Now onto my idea: I’m looking for a (legal) romance that would make head turns in all directions if it was seen. I want a romance that the characters first deny then keep a secret from the rest of the world because of the backlash it could potentially get if word got out. I want a romance that, whilst at first glance may seem like its perfectly fine to have, makes people go “nah Ah” for many reasons. Think fo your classical royal x non royal story but expand on it. Maybe the ships captain isn’t allowed to deeply associate with his crew mates because he has an image to maintain but has feelings for a subordinate crew mate. Maybe someone tasked with protecting a government official starts to fall for them despite knowing that they can’t be with someone like that strictly for political reasons. Perhaps a betrothed prince/princess falls for their knight or guard.Regardless, I want it to be a romance that is more than just “character A meets character B and they fell helplessly in love.” Give me the drama, give me the relationship problems, give me those moments where the secrets close to being let out but most of all, give me some tension. Make this more than just your ordinary romance.Possible ideas for this setting:1: a noble gets captured by a space pirate.2: a person who was exiled returns home despite being threatened with severe consequences if they ever come back pleads for the help of his former best friend.3: a captain falls for his second in command/lower ranking crew mate.4: a prince/princess falls for their knight/guard/best friend/street rat/commoner despite being betrothed to another royal.5: any idea we come up with together.If anyone is at all interested in an rp with me then please pm me or start a reddit chat and please have it as more than “hey wanna rp?” Tell me something about your favourite movie or your favourite animal or perhaps even character ideas and please add which pairing idea you liked. Please make sure you also include the word DOLAN somewhere in your message so that I know you’ve ready the whole thing. I WILL NOT RP WITH PEOPLE WHO DO NOT HAVE THE WORD DOLAN AND THE IDEA THEY LIKED IN THEIR MESSAGE. It doesn’t matter if you add it after, if it’s not in the first message, it’s a no. Do not worry if I don’t respond straight away. Reddit is famous for not letting people get notifications, chances are I don’t know you’ve reached out to me yet but fret not, I always respond to whoever answers no matter what time you messaged me and how long it’s been since.Can’t wait to rp with anyone interested! via /r/AdvancedLiterateRP https://ift.tt/37ppFfS

Oak Park police to get mental health services


https://ift.tt/3o5i9Nf via /r/oakpark https://ift.tt/3kjJKI5

Little success!!


I’m on a little road to health journey to try and alleviate my health anxiety, and one of the things I needed to do was get a tooth extraction. I have been absolutely DREADING getting a tooth pulled because I was so scared of infection, endocarditis, numbing shot allergy, dry socket, etc but I FINALLY DID IT! This tooth has been bothering me for 10 years, infections twice a year, having to take antibiotics, and now I’m 5 days free of it and I feel like a million pounds has been lifted off my shoulders. I did end up getting a dry socket but you know what, a few days of pain is a small price to pay for the relief from constantly being afraid my tooth infection would spread and kill me. I’m so proud of myself! Next step is to start taking my thyroid medication which is absolutely terrifying but I feel hope now. via /r/HealthAnxiety https://ift.tt/3mj9QvF

Is this narcissistic or am I crazy?


Narc mom? Pls helpIs she a narcissist? Or am I just an ahole?Background: 17 Working Nmom?Hello everyone. So I’ve got an issue. I’m trying to figure out what the heck’s going on. For years I’ve thought my mom was just super protective. But I’ve been reading a lot and studying cause something doesn’t seem right.Because screaming and gaslighting at your child because of your problems is probably not actually parenting. Since I was very little I was cussed at, not called a bitch or anything just told how f*ucking stupid the thing I just did was or how shitty my actions were. When I was very little I was told I’d be “the death of her” which scared me, I took it literal and wouldn’t ask for help for a week and couldn’t look her in the eyes thinking I was killing my own mother. When she found out she was upset because she didn’t mean to say it. Yet the whole week was super rough with me. Any time I did something wrong nothing was talked out, just yelling and getting spanked a lot. Of course my GC sister never got spanked and is rarely yelled at. They buy her everything and if I ask for stuff it adds to their financial burden. I’ve been called “mentally psychotic and crazy” (for standing up for myself by the way). I had went through a very depressive state recently and was told depression wasn’t real and I just want attention and she made it about her and I will try to use it against her. I asked for a therapist and she said no because all I’d do was complain about her. If I double text her accidentally she tattles to my dad saying I’m blowing up her phone and calls my dad to handle it. She tells me I have a “victim mentality”. To even get her to listen when I was having a panic attack during one of my worst mental nights I had to break down in front of her then she made it about her and told me mental health problems aren’t real. If I am screamed at and even have a tear she screams and says I have no right to cry and makes me stop or will try to intimidate me. She tries to control my work life. She didn’t like my schedule was 2 days over what I could work and I called my boss and she said she could compromise and take a day off (totally fine with me) and my mom went off and said to tell her I can’t. My boss was mad because we compromised and I told her it was my mother and I’m sorry. Then my mom CALLED her and was all rude. Another night she wanted me to leave and I told her I still had like 15 minutes because I was finishing an order (restaurant) and she’d have to wait. Told me she’d go in there if I didn’t leave so I had to piss off my managers to even satisfy my mother. Got yelled at by one of the managers. Yay :). My childhood dogs were given away without but a nights notice because she didn’t want them anymore. (We can afford them and take care of them fine. It’s not an issue). She knew I was upset that night and I told her it was cause she always swore he could die with me. Told me I was dramatic and wouldn’t let me go to bed without saying I agreed to let them go. (I said no). She has the whole cycle going on. (Honeymoon periods, mental abuse). She’ll tell me memories I remember clearly never happened. (Makes her look bad) gaslights me all the time) I’ve even started videoing conversations and I am horrified listening to them again. I am told my kids will be terrible in the future because I am not nice to her. (All I do is try to please her but it’s never enough). Gaining my independence threatens her so much. And I can’t tell her a thing without it being used against me. I’m so sick of it.When I was little she’d say to not tell people when I was in trouble. And don’t make them look bad. That I should always keep that between us. I wasn’t allowed to let family know if I got something taken away. Like when I had a Barbie taken away for no reason. She made me tell my aunt on the phone I was playing with it and loved it. I never was using it.And let’s not forget where she says she cries worrying about me at night and how she’ll afford my horse stuff (I pay it all, she doesn’t do a freaking thing except maybe use her card so I can give her all the cash (restaurants give us cash here not many checks) and all she does is drink and watch tv at night.)she’s also saying I should aim to lose 20 pounds in two weeks. (Apparently that’s super unhealthy so no thanks mom😂) (I’m also maybe like 5 pounds overweight via /r/NarcissisticAbuse https://ift.tt/3m3tkUI

I really don't want to be abused again


I know this sounds obvious, but at times I have wanted to get revenge or make myself so that their abuse doesn't affect me. However, I'm human and I'm always going to have basic needs. If someone is between me and food, water, and shelter, I am going to be upset about it. I would much prefer not to be abused again. I don't even want revenge really, because it runs the risk of bringing the narcissist back into my life. Most imaginations of revenge do that in one way or another, whether they be plots to get close to them and backstab them or social shaming campaigns that are sure to invite some back and forth. Dreams of revenge keep that potential interaction alive, which keep that relationship alive. I would much rather not have that relationship at all and make sure there is no risk of it being rekindled. I do that by cutting the person out of my life completely, never interacting with them again, and making sure there is no risk of it being able to be revived.I also understand that I remain at risk of abuse. There's no "having a narcissist in your life is an invitation to work on yourself" type of thing. Yes, sure, narcissists abuse you in whatever way they can find. Sure, some of those things can be improved so that they don't hurt (or hurt less) the next time someone tries that. However, we're all still human. We all have basic needs for food, water, shelter, health, and affiliation. We do not need to have those needs abused.While we go through life, there will be people who want to abuse those needs anyway. They will want to isolate us, shame us, gaslight us, hurt us, or kill us. That is something that is almost certain to happen. We should avoid being isolated, shamed, gaslighted, hurt, or killed if we can. If we fail, we run if we can, and if we can't get away then we fail and we will have to embrace our fate.However, everything that I have occasionally thought or that others told me would keep me in the relationship is everything the narcissist would want me to believe. Things like...If your spiritual development and mind training is good enough, the narcissist will no longer affect youYou were sent this person for a reason. You must learn how to deal with him and beat himLearn how to grey rock better until they go away. Treat this as practiceWinWrite down everything. Get evidence. Go to police, HR, or whoever an authority may beDon't let him get to you! Be above it!Uh, hello?! Where's the advice saying to get the fuck out of there when you're being abused?I think it needs to be a little bit louder than it is... "IF YOU'RE BEING ABUSED, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE AND NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN!"If you can, of course. via /r/LifeAfterNarcissism https://ift.tt/3dNshWe

Rant on my idea on why big animals don’t get cancer.


Cancer is a couch potato, it likes humans because generations have become couch potato’s. So it’s easy for them as a couch potato to infect a couch potato. (Understandable context: Humans who don’t live a healthy live style are more likely to die because cancer is too lazy to care about anyone else but us.) Big creatures don’t get cancer like Elephants because they’re always on the move, they always stand, they are always eating, they are immune to cancer because of those traits. Humans who work out like this everyday (minus the eating all day trait) are hypothetically immune to cancer.You may say cancer happens in our body when a cell refuses to die and the health cells can kill the cancer cell and fail in elephants, we can assume their immune system is very good. via /r/cancer https://ift.tt/3kjJGrP

Today’s coronavirus news: Ontario reporting 821 cases, 3 more deaths; 1 in 4 Canadians say mental health is worse now


https://ift.tt/31qw0DX via /r/u_toronto_news https://ift.tt/35hfrM3

COVID-19 takes toll on physical health of young Canadians, scientists, school board find


https://ift.tt/3jhKb4i via /r/u_toronto_news https://ift.tt/3jka83c

Trying to enlist in the Navy, not sure if using TRT through Low T Center will come up in Meps/ general testosterone advice


So long story short (ish), I'm looking into enlisting in the Military but I'm concerned about tests that I had from the low T center in July getting me a DQ.(Background) I'm 28 and recently have been going through a separation from my fiance. The 3 months leading up to the test were easily the most stressful of my life. Had to move back in with my parents, unemployed due to covid, no idea what to do with myself. I was about 30 lbs overweight when I took the test, had been a sedentary, chronic pot/cigarette smoker for the last decade, and was sleeping on average probably 4-5hrs a night.First test came back (7 ng/dl), was informed that normal would have been (20 ng/dl) for my age. Second test came back (9 ng/dl). I had been doing some light physical activity before the second test, quit smoking ciggs/bud completely, still sleeping like shit. At that point they said I qualified for TRT if I wanted it. Being naive about the implications of starting a TRT regiment I agreed and started on 80mg of test cypionate every 4 days. Went on it for about 2 months before I met with a Dr. About an unrelated issue who informed me about Clomid and the complications of starting TRT at such a young age. Around the same time I started taking an interest in the military as a way to get my life together and reading up on DQ conditions of trying to join.Met with a 3rd doctor around this time to discuss Clomid and he informed me that I'd need to come off TRT for 4-6 weeks to allow my body to start producing test again before he could prescrible. He attempted to look for the TRT regiment in my medical records but couldn't seem to find it. So I'm wondering if they'll be able to find it at MEPS? Or if the MEPS tests will include a hormone panel?Any help/advice would be greatly appreciated. I don't have health insurance or the funds to see a doctor with my questions anymore.TL;DR: got prescribed TRT from the low at center, actual doctor couldn't find it in medical records, wondering if MEPS will be able to pull it or will test for low testosterone? Is it possible that my testosterone will recover to regular levels in the next few months with diet, exercise, and proper sleep? (I've gone from 220lbs to 170lbs in the last 5 months, 2 of which were on TRT, slightly less depressed/anxious, and sleeping more than 5 hours a night now) via /r/Testosterone https://ift.tt/2TeAt8s

Im tired of being strong against my mental health


I’m tired of throwing it on people. I’m tired of having it. I’m tired of it. I don’t wanna get sucked in. I don’t wanna be in a dark place. I want breaks. I want me again. I want to feel normal. via /r/u_kes_de https://ift.tt/31qLE2e

10-21 00:36 - 'I'm fine with this, but the agro sector shouldn't come crying if the EU votes on legislation aimed at lowering meat consumption for health and environment reasons too.' by /u/pedatn removed from /r/belgium within 710-720min


'''I'm fine with this, but the agro sector shouldn't come crying if the EU votes on legislation aimed at lowering meat consumption for health and environment reasons too.'''Context LinkGo1dfish undelete linkunreddit undelete linkAuthor: /u/pedatn via /r/removalbot https://ift.tt/34goDB1

For the curious, what 5 months (and counting) of EMDR has been like for me.


TLDR: consider this an AMA-style confessional for all of the common EMDR discussion points/questions you see on here r/EMDR and r/PTSD. Hope this helps.I've been doing EMDR for 5 months now. I'm in my early 30s. I'm told I have complex trauma from childbirth (the most recent), a prolonged rape at uni (the worst) and an abusive childhood (my mom was sectioned at one point, refused to take medication for manic depression and was a diagnosed narcissist who took out their rage on their children physically and emotionally). I relived my rape whilst giving birth, and my mom's special brand of fucked up parenting made me vulnerable to being taken advantage of and blaming myself for it. So they all bleed into each other.Ive seen on here a lot of back and forth about whether EMDR is appropriate for complex trauma. Maybe how it's going for me might give an idea of what it can be like. I had never heard of it bwfore, and was super skeptical going in - it sounds like hippy nonsense.How do we do it? Telehealth, over a video call. I feel safe because I'm in my own space. I speak more freely because i'm not picking up on the therapists body language. I can maximise their face or turn their face off so I don't see myself or them if I'm talking about something difficult. Don't want to continue? Turn off the laptop.How do I do the bilateral stimulation? I've done the remote EMDR where there's a dot that goes accross the screen, tapping my knees and the butterfly hug (which is the single stupidest name for any therapy technique I've ever come across. It should just be called criss-cross shoulder tapping - that's what it is). There's no real difference between techniques, but I can tolerate tapping myself at a faster rate.Do I have to trust the therapist? Nope, didn't fully trust mine until I was about three months in. He's EMDR-accredited, a trauma specialist and a legit nice guy. There's no reason not to trust him, but I wasn't comfortable being vulnerable around anyone. I don't even have to say what I'm reliving/thinking about unless I want to. I choose to say everything even though I don't really want to, because I will never see this person again when I am done with the therapy.Do I feel silly doing it? Abso-fucking-lutely. It is the silliest thing I've ever done. Think of something, waggle your eyes back and forth and say what your body is doing/whatever is on your mind? That's it? Yes, that is indeed it. Does the therapist sound like a broken record asking you to notice things and go with it? Yup. Think of them more like a spirit guide. They should only intervene if you get stuck. You do get used to it eventually.What is it like to do? My therapist says I have an extreme reaction in session. I dread each session, as my body tends to lock up and get incredibly tight/I have massive headaches. Between each session there are days where my brain won't switch off enough to let me sleep and I have a horrible IBS reaction - like my body is purging itself of poison. My therapist a lovely person, but I'm pretty sure the day I look forward to speaking to him is the day I am done with EMDR.What caused me to do EMDR? I thought I was fine and over it. I'd thrown myself into work. Except it turns out, my brain just turned off all my emotions and convinced me I was a garbage person. I hated myself, it was all my fault. I proved my worth to the world and myself by 'being strong' and achieving. In reality, my heart pounded all the time, my muscles were constantly sore/tight, I couldn't fall asleep/stay asleep easily and i zoned out all the time. Which I thought were character flaws and I just needed to try harder. I probably could have carried on this way for a long time, but I was retraumatised giving birth. I crashed hard, became suicidal and planned my own death. Which would have happened by now if the lockdown didn't scupper my plans. I might be the rare person whose life has been improved by covid because I had a breakdown and had to try one last time to get help. I self referred to my local mental health trust here in the UK and they filtered me through to a trauma-specialist who has a Master's in EMDR.What does progress look like? It depends. Occasionally, I completely process a memory. And it is a joy/peace of mind and calm I have only experienced on my wedding day, and when my baby smiled/laughed at me for the first time. More often, it is a small incremental change. Like not being suicidal anymore. Being able to recognise when I am physically experiencing an emotion I.e. becoming agitated (my hands start sweating). Actually feeling an emotion in my soul. For example feeling happy rather than knowing I should be happy and faking it to please others (whilst feeling blank inside). I have allowed myself cry in front of my husband. I have been able to briefly describe how I was raped to him. I could not get the words out before in the 12+ years of being together. Progress with the most traumatic memories, which I have the most complex thoughts about is much more like solving a giant rapey sudoku/Rubik's cube.How are you making progress/processing complicated really scary stuff? The more I relive the rape in a controlled environment, the less overwhelming it is. I can identify what emotion I was feeling. I can tell when I was feeling it. I know what I told myself to minimise the pain inflicted on me (usually something like I deserved it because ___, or I'm disgusting). I can see how to break it down into manageable phases which I can process one at a time. Or its different beliefs attached to the same memory which I can do one at a time. I had to surrender entirely to the process, and it took a good 10 weeks of processing the 'easy' distressing memories from it before my brain had the moment of clarity/muscle memory to work out what those phases were and how they differed from each other.Yeah, yeah. Give me an example of what that looks like in practice For example I finally put to bed today the idea that it was my fault I was raped. this was because I lost 45 pounds before attending Uni and became small, attractive and therefore a target. My mom used to tell me I was losing weight to get attention from boys and that I'd therefore deserve the consequences of any unwanted attention. Stellar parenting. So today the therapist had me remember being told this, tap and then immediately to back to the part of the rape where I told myself this. I could feel half of my body get really scared (bottom half shaking, cold, clammy cold-sweat hands). The upper half though went super tense and hot. My head started throbbing and then I thought 'why the fuck do I have to deal with this stupid nonsense on top of being raped? I would have raped if he was a chubby chaser. He was on drugs, it was his decision, he was still much stronger than me and at least a foot taller'. I got real angry, really quickly at how stupid it is that i've carried the weight of this unnecessary extra shame. The therapist had me come back to the moment, stretch, wiggle my fingers and toes. And then we went back to the rape memory. And all I felt was fear, betrayal (from the rapist) and helpless. But that shame which was making it even worse? Gone. The distress only went down from 8/10 to 7/10. But the belief that I brought it on myself because I lost weight is gone. I never lost weight to get attention from boys, I did it so I could see my toes when I looked down. So I could feel good about myself. It took two 90 minute sessions to completely process this belief. I suspect it'll take another 2-5 sessions to process the actual stage of the rape it was attached to, because I still need to clear the fear/helplessness, and 'this is actually happening' betrayal of trust (it was someone I knew and had a casual fuck-buddy relationship with. The rape was very different, he had been doing drugs before he showed up unannounced at my house-share and pushed his way into my room. He was very aggressive and clearly was acting on some sort of drug-fuelled impulse/fantasy. It went on for hours. It was very painful and he made me do things to humiliate and scare me. He told me he wanted me to cry). At this rate I think it will probably be another 5-6 months before I'm done.Does it get worse before it gets better? For me, emotionally yes. I've had to take off all my armour and step out into the harsh light and show all my wounds to someone I don't know. As I process something, I have to look at each gaping oozing wound, feel it, accept it and then patch it up myself. With the therapist watching to guide me. There is no magic pill, or white knight coming. I have to save myself. It is an exhausting, excruciating process. I've had (and probably will have) weeks where I don't want to do it anymore, where I feel devastated by the gravity of what has happened to me. Where I am overwhelmed with how hard it is. But I have a safety plan established with the therapist, it was one of the first things we did. I do a weekly risk assessment for the therapist which sends him an alert of how I'm doing 2 days before a session. My family, GP, workplace and very close friends all know what I'm doing and how it affects me in/after session. I have help arranged for my baby when I'm in session and the first few days afterwards to ease the pressure. I do my best to be kind to myself. If my child wasn't so very little it would be a little easier to manage. When they need you, they need you at that stage of life. No excuses, no exceptions.What have you told work? I'm an essential worker in the government. I happen to work for a trauma-informed organisation. Our Chief exec talks openly about the fact that she was sectioned herself, and the culture is supportive. I know they must make every reasonable adjustment/accomodation for me because it's a disability under UK law as I've had/will have it for more than a year. I was on maternity leave for a lot of the time. I told them I experienced a traumatic birth, which caused me to re-experience being a victim of a serious crime and that I've had to accept in trying to address this that my upbringing was a form of child abuse. I had a sick note for ptsd. I told them I was knee-deep in doing a type of exposure therapy which is very involved. I think i'll probably be signed off another month and then begin a phased return with very light duties and build back up to normal from there. I told them the truth; I want to work and do my bit, but I know I need to break the back of the therapy before I can begin to be useful again. I've only told my work friends that the birth was really traumatic and that the recovery is intense. They've all assumed that I need physical therapy and i have no reason to correct them. They don't need to know the details, only management needs the accurate headline story and they are bound by confidentiality. I recognise my situation, this time and a prescribed phased return is a luxury most in the US won't have available if you are working.Do I recommend it? Yes. And maybe no. It depends on your circumstances. It's working for me, but a lot slower than I had hoped going in. But I don't have that complex a cPTSD, I can see how more traumas, prolonged traumas or more extreme traumas would take longer or might not be suitable. Theres no CSA. I wasn't trafficked. I haven't been domestically abused. I wouldn't say I've been tortured. A big one that makes it easier for me - I have no psychological co-morbidities to complicate things. My trauma is all over for now. I'm estranged from my mother. I have the opportunity and the planning in place to do this once and for all. My coping mechanism has always been to ignore my internal pain and do what needs to be done to get the job done/please someone I respect. This is the one time that comes in extra handy. It 'hurts' but cancer treatment hurts. Cauterizing a wound hurts. I am slowly getting lighter and it feels permanent. I can't afford to paper over the cracks anymore. I will say this is not something you can half-ass or worry it to death. There are ways to make it suck slightly less, I know, I'm doing most of them. It's also not as bad as you think it will be. I think the giving up of control and the choose-your-own adventure style of it doesn't necessarily feel 'safe' when you anticipate it. Do it, don't do it - it's your life. But if you do it. Safety plan. Be prepared to put your life on hold for a few months. Get ready to feel all the feels. Don't overthink it - you have to trust your brain. The therapist is not fixing you, you are.What keeps you going when it is hard? I will not fuck my baby up the way i've been. I made a 2am promise to her that I would not ever deliberately hurt her or let her ever doubt how much I love her. I'm playing for all the marbles. For keeps. Not for me. For her. via /r/CPTSD https://ift.tt/31qIhrX

Parents think I'm selfish for participating in the Breaking Code Silence movement


I caused my parents a lot of pain when I was 15, I will be the first to admit that, but my parents think that the fact that I still bring up my time in the therapeutic teen treatment industry makes me selfish and immature. They want closure just as much as I do, but they believe that their own way to get closure is to never think about what I went through again. I still struggle with nightmares and mental health issues yet they think that because I attend a prestigious university that the troubled teen industry helped me. Any thoughts about how to address this? via /r/troubledteens https://ift.tt/3jczQ9L

Proper light exposure for sleep


I want to fix my sleep schedule. One way I found on the internet is by exposing myself to light in the day and reducing in the night. My question now is, what is the best time range for light exposure and when is the best time reducing it?Tips about sleeping are also appreciated, research articles as wellhttps://https://ift.tt/3jidG6f took the light exposure from this site via /r/NoStupidQuestions https://ift.tt/37sc1sy

We need to talk more about this


I feel like nowadays everybody talks about mental health but this conversation can be really superficial , what do you think we should talk about more related to mental health? I feel like there is soooo much to talk about besides the same that we see everywhere in social media! via /r/mentalhealth https://ift.tt/2IQz7Pe

I think my dog had a stroke


As of this morning, he is unable to stand or walk, refuses to drink, and is completely incontinent. He lists severely to the right, and his right legs don’t seem to work properly. His eyes are constantly sweeping side to side as though he has nystagmus.He is a 16 year old neutered boxer mix with history of arthritis and mild incontinence.We are currently waiting at the vet, but because of his age and health we will probably be letting him go to sleep without invasive tests and treatments. Would love to know what you think about these symptoms. via /r/AskVet https://ift.tt/31qTKaW

How to focus and study with life distractions?


So I have my REG retake this weekend, and I found out today about a medical issue of a close family member. It was completely unexpected and one of those things that won't be fully resolved (or even figured out) for weeks. I was so distracted today and I worry that with the stress and anxiety I have wondering about the health of my family member, I won't be able to properly study these next few days or stay focused during my exam.How do you guys stay focused on studying/testing when stressful things are happening in your life? via /r/CPA https://ift.tt/3jhlcy3

Change me UMich


I’m unsure if i should apply early for UMich or wait till regular when my stats and EC are higher. I heard that early action is good for UMich but I don’t want to risk getting rejected early. Any suggestions would be great!Demographic: Asian School: Public top 25 school in US Out of state Intended major: CSExtracurriculars:(Founder) organization that creates resources such as magazines (2k views) and panels about computer science and finance (12)(Co-Founder) tutoring and coding program - impacted 200+ kids and received over 800 class sign ups (11,12)(Intern) tutoring center (10)(Volunteer) prep center (11)(Volunteer) library (10)(Member) club outside of school- learn finance through panels (11,12)(Member) chemistry club (11,12)(Participant) summer chemistry camp (12)(Member) dance team at school (11)Took a health college course via /r/chanceme https://ift.tt/37rNELh